Paranoia
I was getting excited about the Christmas Party, and so the folks in my department at work assigned me to make the greeting handout, and so I drew a picture of a drunken fat man with his hair standing up; --everyone liked it. In the mean time, Dan was having a number of parties at his house. One evening, a few days before the Christmas Party, I was in his apartment, he and his brother were smoking some pot, some stuff from Mexico. I got too high too quickly off the pot I think; I had a few beers before hand also. I had not really smoked pot much before, other than maybe a drag here or there, but nothing like this. I mean I took some heavy drags, smoking a whole joint with Dan. I hadn't done that before.
I sat back then, in a sofa chair and tried to get my senses back. Dan knew I was struggling a bit.
"You all right Chick?" He asked.
"Not sure, boy I feel something...not sure if I like it either," Dan kind of chuckled, and sat back, lit another joint up, - then the brother came, he saw me, said hello, I gave, smile, smile, and he joined his brother to help around the common was smoking.
Jack said Dan, his brother, "Chick continues to look ... In fact, he looked at me now, see?"
Said Dan,
"Do not worry, I think he is going on a bad trip, leave him alone, he will come back to us."
"F * ck no, he looked at me," Jack said. I was stiff, but not for reasons he thought,that is to fight or provoke, I was paranoid. He was then talking to Dan saying he was going to punch me, I moved my head a little looked at Dan and Jack, I seemed almost frozen, and told myself, if he did, I'm not sure what I could do, but I'd have to jump quick, even though I was under some kind of panic I didn't understand. Jack stood up from sitting by Dan on the floor, moved over by me thinking he was going to do something, but didn't get too close. Dan knew I'd defend myself if I had to, and it wouldn't be pretty, yet neither one knew how frozen I was in this limbo state. Could I move out of the way quickly enough? And was Jack getting paranoid also. Dan jumped up, grabbed Jack, "Back off Jack, I don't want any trouble. If you want to talk to him after he comes out of if fine, but not like this."
Jack stepped back, he seen me follow each of his movements, I felt I'd try to do what I had to do, but if not, I was playing poker, and Dan knew it would never end here, and I'd have to put Dan down also, and I would.
Two hours passed, I came about, and out of this trance like stage.
"You ok, Chick," Dan said.
"Yaw, I'm fine, how about your brother?" Dan knew now it was time to sort things out.
"Listen," he commented, as his brother sat on the floor smoking another joint, "He didn't understand how you were, he's young, you know.
Jack jumped up, "I'm not afraid of him."
"Jack," I said, "I'm not subdued anymore, the best you can do is sit back down and let your brother talk, or go out side with me, and I'll kick your ass down, you're no match for me, not now anyway."
"Chick, if you take him on you got to take me also," Dan said, adding, "I know he did wrong, but I stopped him, and I apologize for him."
"Dan," I calmly said, "I'll walk away, but if he gets in my way, if I have to put you both down, I'll do it."
"He's not going to get in your way, nor am I, we're all friends here, both of you shake hands." Jack hesitated, didn't want to, but for some reason didn't want to walk around wondering I suppose if and when I'd get drunk some night, and out of control, in short, then go looking for him.
"Ok, maybe I was a little pushy, I like Chick, I just didn't like the staring. Ok, let's shake," and he extended his hand, and that was that.
The Party
Well finally the party day was here. I quickly washed up at work, and joined everyone in the backroom at Lilli Ann's; Adolph Shuman was present himself, along with Mr. Green, Dan, Mr. Rosenberg the Manager, my boss the London designer, Dan's Spanish girlfriend, and the fifty other folks. I guess when he first started the company; they said he gave out money, and expensive gifts. I guess it was a long road for him, he first started selling dresses in the windows on consignment in downtown San Francisco, stores, then one thing lead to another, and he became rich. Not sure how that all worked out. He must have had a head on his shoulders, and public relation skills. Nobody gets far without that in this world.
He started handing out bottles of expensive Scotch, "Here," he said to me, handing it to me personally. As if he forgot who I was--again. He had gotten so mad at me one day he told the Manager to fire me after he almost stuttered trying to tell me "DDDDDdoooontt drop the materialsssssss..." he lost it I think for a moment that day. I said "No problem sir..." and he shook his head hollering, "Get rid of him, fire him." Oh well, I don't blame him for getting mad, I suppose he spent a life time trying to build up a business, and its name, I was not what you might call the best "Bundle Boy," trying to see where else I could fit into his company; actually everyone but me was trying to advance it seemed I thought, but never acted on promotion. Actually I was doing a little bit of everything, cutting material, and this and that; --and in-between, doing what they called "Bundle Boy," things.
The party went on for awhile, food was all about, and the punch was spiked with some kind of liquor everyone liked. The two Spanish gals that liked me up in Mr. Green's working area were eyeing me up again, but I paid little attention, I didn't want any problems with married people, but they were cute. Dan and I got a ride home from Colleen, and when we got back into our room, Colleen told me she had moved into the small room. Great I told her, not sure why it was kept a secret, but so be it. Dan I was mistaken for a bottle of scotch, I do not drink liquor, and he and his brother liked.
It was Friday and I was getting a bit sick, 'so I went to bed early. Colleen came to visit me, see how I was.
"Can I help you?" said he was sitting on my bed, added. "Boy, you're really hot"
I said,
"I'll see you later, when I am better again ..." she replied, "Well, what can you do, you're as hot as a stove, you stay in bed." Andwent back to her room. About midnight, I ended up knocking at her bedroom door. She let me in.
"I can't believe it, get back in bed," and I said no, and jumped in her bed and had sex. "You are one stubborn person," she said --insisting, I go back to my bed after about forty-five minutes of sex, and so I did.
Chapter Nine
Mother Comes to Town
As another ten days came and left, I noticed Colleen spending more time in Dan's room. Not sure if they were getting it on, but I also knew he had his full and healthy looking Spanish girl, and I suppose I was a little jealous, and so was she, the Spanish girl that is. For some reason it seemed to me and Dan's girlfriend, Colleen was throwing herself at the two brothers and Dan was getting a little nervous.
During this time, Colleen came over to me and asked if I would go over and tell Dan we were just friends, not ultimately lovers. I told her I'd do no such thing, and what she did was her business, but I really didn't like her attitude, and so our six-week relationship dissolved at that point. She had been seeing, I think, older man all along, in any case, she was simply hungry for whomever she could get her hands on, in many cases, and perhaps most, she preferred younger men on the short term bases, or so felt, and possible older for safe keeping. Dan asked if I could talk to his girlfriend, Nancy, and I did, telling her Dan was more or less being chased by Colleen, which she already knew,-- notwithstanding. After she cooled down, she asked me why I drank so much that Dan had said that's all I did. She kind of liked me as a friend, but didn't understand me. I simply told her to mind her own business, and go visit Dan if she cared to put things back together, and so she did.
Mother's Day
I met her at my house on Dolores Street -she had taken a cab from the airport-- she was excited to see me, and I her. She surprised me that she even came; she would stay here in San Francisco for a week and then go to see my brother in Southern California. Maybe it was her chance to see California, especial San Francisco, which was a legend in its own right, and everyone knew where Disneyland was, even the Russian leader Nikita Khrushchev, I guess he even went to San Francisco in September, l959, couldn't resist the city; matter of fact he went to a supermarket in the city checking out the cartons of milk like it was a nuclear arms plant. And oh yes, he was in the good old Midwest, in Iowa CHECKING OUT THE CORN. Not sure if he made it to Minnesota though, if not he missed the best kept secret in the US, St. Paul.
As soon as Mother's plane come in she got a rent-a-car, it was great, the first time I got to drive in 7 ½ months. Then we went to her hotel after leaving Dolores Street, it was a small motel, but comfortable, but not as small as my room was which just shook her head, thinking it was way too small for me. Then we went out to eat the first night with it on Friday. I could not work, because it would hurt two weeks ago, but the previous work this week, the clock at 3:00, not 4:30 as usual, and took off Monday, give us the rest of Friday, and other three days. She would leave next Thursday evening.
In any event, the Saturday we were only Woods, about twenty miles out of town and were able to see the huge old trees. Then we went to China Town, this evening, my mother, Dan and myself, and bought bothChinese food was good, his brother was not invited because it was not quite so close friends, the more we do not need more places to feed.
Sunday we went to Fisherman's Wharf, and looked at the crabs and Wax Museum. In the evening we went to Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill, from there you could see the bay, with its shadows and lights. And a couple of times we went on the Golden Gate Bridge and a ferry for a boat ride to Alcatraz, which was a nickname called "theRock," and around the little concrete island we went. On one of the building roofs on Alcatraz was the word painted in hung letters ALCATRAZ
There was a scary moment in all this riding around, it was at about 5:00 PM on Monday evening, I drove to what was known as the "Crocket Road," a steep and winding road in the San Francisco area, and got stuck on it. But that was not the real scary moment, I then went beyond that road and up another steep one, the car almost fell over backwards, --I had to turn into an alley very slowly, I could see gravety was not in our favor, and so I made sure the turn was not too sharp. We could actually feel the car starting to sway to the side, as if it wanted to roll sideways --down the cliff.
After that we went to "Sammie's," where all my drinking friends were, and as I got my mother into a booth, which I normally did not sit in, we got some soup, --her a coke, and me a beer. I introduced her to everyone, I was so proud to have her meet all my friends. For some reason I did not bring her to meet Goesi, I was feeling he was a little disappointed in me, for I had not went to karate practice in awhile. It was now about 8:00 PM, and the weekend was ending, --and having Monday part of it, made it long. So we went back to her motel, I slept on the sofa. In the morning I went back to work.
The Cliff House
My mother had asked were the best place in town was to eat, --she wanted to take me there, and so I told her I didn't know, but I knew of the most famous place, which was the Cliff House, it was by the bay, and it was surrounded by gardens; also, at the lower left side of the building was Seal Rocks, populated by sea lions.
Cliff House had pictures of everybody famous on its walls. We sat overlooking the giant waves hitting the rocks below us. I ordered beef, and when it came, I got four little slices I looked at them for a minute, not knowing if to cry, laugh or get mad. My mother looked, and we started laughing. I think a McDonald's Hamburger was twice as much meat, but we ate it none-the-less, she paid the outrageous bill, and we walked around a bit thinking we owned the place, or at least I did. It was a good moment, a good week.
It was a good as good as it got better, if not grand week, I hated to see her go on Thursday, but she did; and I knew my brother Mike was anxious to take her to Disneyland in Southern California, and so back to work, but a surprise was yet to come.
Chapter Ten
Sammie's Bar
The Eagle and Surprise
July 16, l969
Sammie's Bar Day One
At 6,198-m.p.h, the Saturn 5 was in space, it was 9:32 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time; Cape Kennedy, --Neil Armstrong was in the Phoenix with his crew, within a space of 363-feet. The journey would take them 250,810 miles to the moon. At 11:57 p.m. The astronauts were sleeping with 77,992 miles yet to go; their speed had gone to less than 5000 m.p.h. I had heard it on the radio, but was at the bar during the sleeping period.
July 17-19, l969
Sammie's Bar Day Two
At 10:53 p.m. the astronauts are 147,802 miles above the earth. I watched the T.V. above the bar, with everyone else, they had a Color T.V., and so they had a 36-minute telecast of the flight, showing Apollo entering the lunar sphere of influence. They are now traveling at 2,037 M.P.H. a voice said.
On July 19th another 34-minute telecast was shown in Sammie's bar, and again we all watched it, eating chili, and drinking beer.
"The Eagle has landed" ...
I got to the bar early this Sunday, July 20th 9:00 o'clock a. m. And there were no seats at the bar a few minutes after I arrived. I got one of the last ones. We all sat in anticipation. Mr. and Mrs. Palace sat next to me, and Ted and his partner both standing close by one another, all looking up at the T.V. It was going to be a long day and night I felt. Around 10:00 a.m. Apollo 11 disappeared behind the moon, no radio contact with Houston. It was 12:57 P. M. now I grabbed some sandwiches.
"I'm staying here all day and night until I see the end of this," I told Mrs. Palace. She smiled. As the hours went by, we heard the engines were shut off, it was 4:17 PM, the Eagle had settled on the moon in the Sea of Tranquility. Neil Armstrong reported, "The Eagle has landed". At that moment I was remembering back when I was in grade school, and President John F. Kennedy said we were going to the moon. I was in the printing shop working on my California-job-case, sorting out letters. And here, now it happened. And we beat the Russians this time, life was good.
At 7:13 p.m., Buzz Aldrin gave a message to the world, to pause for a moment and thing of this event, and give thanks in our own way; --and then the preparation for walking on the moon started; --at about 11:00 p.m. I'm still watching T.V. and Neil Armstrong took his first step on the moon. He says, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Then right after that he steps onto the moon. Man oh man, you couldn't hear a sound in the bar, then everyone was saying, "He's on the moon, the moon, the moon." After about twenty minutes more I went home.
